4 Step Process to Embracing Change

May 24, 2007

Regular readers of this blog may notice that I’m posting quite a bit less this week than I have been for more than a month now. This is in part due to the end of my “Change-A-Habit” Challenge in which I posted once per day for 30 consecutive days and partly due to my stupefied response to a whole lot of change in my life at the moment. It seems that after less than one year on the east coast (southern NJ) my husband and I will be returning to our beloved Seattle (probably the eastern King County suburbs of Bellevue, Redmond or Kirkland). Why am I stupefied? Because I did not expect to again reside in Seattle. I thought I would spend at least another 3 - 5 years here in my native New Jersey before moving to someone place different like Washington DC or Chicago.

It appears I thought “wrong”. Our house is now listed on the real estate market, 75% of our furniture has been sold and removed from the house, and one of us has a new job that begins in Redmond, WA on June 11th. All these developments have taken shape in the past 7 - 9 days. Thus, I have not had much time to absorb and process all the change. In fact, I’ve been so busy packing and planning for the move, I’ve had very little time for much else. As a life coach and personal development facilitator, I realize that busy-ness is merely an excuse to avoid processing change. Therefore, I now choose to embrace what is and go from here. For your information, I’ve detailed my process below:

1. I take full responsibility for this experience - Love it or hate it, I created it. There’s no one to blame and no need for blame in this situation. However, I am responsible for everything that happens in my life experience. I simply am. Always. Some part of me chose this.
2. I acknowledge the feelings I am having in response to the situation - My emotions are a powerful tool that I use to help me determine whether I’m using my personal power, gifts and skills to fulfill my purpose in life and to achieve what I really want. It’s important to know how I feel at all times because when I’m feeling good I am headed in the most preferred or favorable direction: toward what I truly want. Feeling bad is a strong indicator that I’m focused on what I don’t really want. Every feeling is anchored by a thought. I have the power to direct my thoughts toward what I want or prefer. Doing so helps me reach my goals and manifest my intentions. Therefore, at this time I choose to acknowledge my feelings. I notice them; however, at no time will I judge them.
3. I seek to identify the thought that spawned my negative feelings - If I’m feeling bad (worried, angry, nervous, depressed, distrustful, jealous, weak, insecure, weary, or insignificant) I can almost guarantee that I’ve been thinking unsupportive and unloving thoughts about someone or something. Once I identify the initial negative thought, I choose a more positive and supportive thought to replace it. Almost immediately, my mood begins to shift and lift.
4. I look at my (previously worrisome) situation from a different, more positive perspective - I seek out the opportunity or blessing of the situation and I focus on that. I stop thinking about how much I’m going to miss my family and I start thinking about how much I’m going to enjoy seeing my Seattle friends whom I’ve missed since I moved away. I stop thinking about how my back may ache from driving cross-country in my car and I start thinking about how much fun it will be to sing old songs and take in the scenery on this long road trip with my husband.

Moving through these steps at my own pace has allowed me to accept and celebrate the changes in my life rather than struggle against them. Coupled with a willingness to live in the now, rather than dwell in the past or future, I regain the peaceful and grateful existence I so cherish. Next time you find yourself resisting change in your life, apply this process and see how it serves you.

Stay tuned for more original content here on CoachChar.com. Although my usual posting schedule may be mildly disrupted by the cross-country move, I intend to post a few times per week between now and mid-June. Once I’m settled into a new residence out west, I will resume posting approximately 4 times per week and I’ll also continue producing and hosting new segments of my talk show, The Growth and Gratitude Hour on Blogtalkradio.com. In the meantime, I invite you to explore the archived content of my blog and to listen to the first two segments of the talk show.

All the best,

Char

Posted in Change